We were told many times, “You have the million-dollar family” – one boy, one girl. Little did they know what it took, behind the scenes, to create our beautiful family we are so blessed to have.
I share my story to help others feel less alone and remain hopeful. Behind the scenes included eight years combined of trying naturally, multiple miscarriages, many doctor’s visits (naturopathic, medical and fertility specialists) IUIs, 2 IVFs, subsequent frozen transfers, and a roller-coaster of emotions. I had to be patient with my PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), my body, and my mind. Despite the many years of difficulties, I always knew in my heart of hearts it would happen; and it did.
We conceived our first child after IVF and second child naturally, over a Christmas holiday while waiting for a frozen embryo transfer since the clinic was closed. That same week that I conceived our daughter, I also “conceived” a chapter titled “naturopathic perspectives” for a holistic fertility book authored by Dr. Timea Belej Rak, MD called “Embrace your Fertility, Empowering you with the tools to succeed”. I believe it was the power of all forms of medicine and the “letting go” of control that helped us to conceive our two beautiful children.
It was often a lonely fertility journey for me, because as a naturopathic doctor with a special interest in fertility and pregnancy, I was supporting other couples and families to conceive and have healthy labors. My patient’s success stories inspired me but I secretly feared judgment when asked why I didn’t have children yet. My team of support included a few close friends and my health care providers. It was a very private journey for me but in the end I found meaning in all of it and learned to ask for help and share my story.
Growing up with two siblings and a single mom, I learned to be self-sufficient and never asked for help. If I could give a little advice, it would be to trust in whatever the universe has in store for you, that you will find meaning in all of this one day and to accept and ask for help. When you connect, ask for help, share and let go – this is when you conceive dreams and ideally babies!
~Dr. Tanya Wylde, ND @drtanyawylde_nd