Kristy met Dave in the summer of 2001. She was about to start her last year of college, and he was in the Navy. Unlike most fairytales you read about, theirs did not start off with kissing and love at first sight. Actually, she couldn’t stand him! She thought he was arrogant, conceited and smug…. until they finally talked and went out on their first date. It didn’t take them long to fall in love, and then 9/11 happened. Dave left the next day.
He returned shortly after he left, and they were engaged a few months later. It was a whirlwind romance, but they both knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. They talked about when they wanted to start a family, but a year into their marriage, Dave was given orders to Iraq. They tried to get pregnant before he left, but it never happened. Little did they know, they were about to embark on an even bigger journey in their road to parenthood.
Dave and Kristy tried for nine years to start a family, but nothing was happening. They finally saw an infertility doctor and started IUI treatments. They thought their fairytale ending would be easy now. The doctors would find the cause, and the treatments would work, but they didn’t. Treatment after treatment kept resulting in negative results. Their bank account was dwindling and nothing was covered by insurance. They finally moved on to IVF, thinking that THIS would work! Two failed IVFs later, they were out of money and no baby to show for it. They felt stuck. Forced childfree. An option that didn’t feel like an option to them, but a cruel sentence.
They tried again; a back-to-back IUI (two IUIs in 24 hours), but unfortunately both of those procedures failed too. One night, months later, in the middle of the kitchen Kristy asked Dave what he wanted to do next, and he said he was done. Kristy was too! They both did the last treatment for the each other, because they didn’t want to ruin their dream. They were choosing each other’s happiness over their own.
They were both done, mentally, physically, financially but most importantly; emotionally. They are both extremely happy CHOOSING childfree as their resolution. The weight has been lifted and they are living life differently. Infertility treatments don’t always work, no matter how hard you try, but there is light at the end of the tunnel even if it’s not the same track you started on.
They opened a bottle of wine and toasted that night, in the middle of the kitchen; to new dreams and new beginnings. They haven’t looked back, and have zero regrets about their decision. They now plan their future differently. Love differently and have different priorities all because they tried, and failed and came out on the other end. Love brought them together, love picked them up off the floor, and now love is leading them in a new direction.
Kristy T., Virginia