My husband, Josh and I are high school sweethearts and have been together for eleven years (married for five). Two and a half years into our marriage, we decided to try and get pregnant. However, it did not go as planned.

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and told by my OBGYN that we needed to continue to try for a year before exploring infertility treatment. Instead, my husband and I decided to go see a fertility specialist “just in case.” We fell in love with the office and all who worked there. We came to find that my eggs were not the best quality and my husband did not have a great sperm count. From August 2017 to February 2018, we went through six rounds of Intra-uterine Inseminations (IUI’s). We were very hopeful as we went through each round of IUI. However, with each negative pregnancy test, I become more and more depressed.

In June of 2018, we moved forward with our first egg retrieval and IVF transfer. We were parents to four embryos (embabies)! In August 2018, we transferred two of our embryos but at our two-week appointment, our pregnancy test came back negative. Distraught, Josh and I took some time to process. Then, in March of 2019, we decided to transfer our last two embabies. We were so excited but also preparing for the worst outcome. Two weeks later we got the call we had been waiting to hear, “You’re pregnant!” We were both on cloud nine.

However, on Monday, April 29th, 2019, we did not see the baby’s heartbeat. My husband and I’s world shattered around us. How would we ever grow our family? Why was our baby taken from us? We grieved and we healed, and our baby girl Everly Mae will always live in our hearts.

Josh and I decided to put everything on hold until we felt it was time to move on and try again. In March of 2020, we received a phone call from our fertility office and were asked if we wanted to do embryo donation. We agreed. Another family was done growing their family and wanted to bless another couple to grow theirs. We are beyond thankful and blessed for this opportunity as we await our rainbow baby.

The advice that I would like to share from my own experience is to not lose hope even in the lowest and darkest days. Don’t be afraid to talk about your infertility, don’t be ashamed of loving something you long for, don’t be afraid to say your baby’s name aloud that you lost, and don’t draw away from your spouse. You don’t have to do this alone.

Please reach out and find a positive, uplifting, and supportive community to connect with. I decided to share my story and find a supportive community by starting a RESOLVE Peer-led support group, and I couldn’t have made a better decision!

Emily. S.