I was not okay for a very long time until I realized with support, that was okay. I was so worried that I was going to be that girl in my group of friends who would struggle with infertility. My fear aligned with my gut, and I was that girl for six years.
Six years of medical tests, specialty appointments followed by miscarriages, failed IVF, emergent surgeries, a stroke, self-hate and the all-consuming depression. I work in mental health and knew if I did not ask for help that I was not okay; I may never be okay again.
With the help of a lovely therapist, infertility support groups and my loved ones, I became okay with my infertility and my journey. Over time, I started to really enjoy the aspects of life I had lost. I journaled to myself daily for six years, which was a safe place to express my thoughts and feelings which turned into love letters to my unborn children. These turned into love letters to my son, Lincoln, born through IVF.
Rebecca M., Canada
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