Callie and her husband, Nile, were open to “letting” a pregnancy happen, but they didn’t expect that they would end up “letting” miscarriages happen instead. After a few years of disappointment and dismissive doctors, they decided that enough was enough.

So began a five-year deep dive into support groups, fertility treatments and online forums. Lots of Googling. Lots of shots. Lots of money. Lots of heartache.

No one knew. No one knew why they didn’t have kids “yet.” No one knew why Callie’s hair was falling out. No one knew that she was giving herself fertility injections in the bathroom at work. No one knew that they were sneaking off to Mexico for treatments that weren’t available in the states. No one knew that she spent the New Year’s holiday recovering from yet another failed intervention.

Eventually, “enough is enough” was how they felt about the dream of having babies at all. Callie focused on her health for her own sake. She saw specialists who helped her uncover health issues she had lived with her entire life. She learned how to build a lifestyle that supported every facet of her health, not just fertility. She and Nile found romance again in their marriage, and they remembered how to enjoy being a family of two (plus a dog)!

Then one day, when Callie was visiting her family, she realized that it didn’t hurt anymore. Surrounded by the chaos of her nephews, she found that she was totally at peace with either version of her future – the one with kids, or the one without.

That’s when they found the courage to give it one more try. This time as a healthy, content person, and with the help of the specialists that Callie had worked with over the years to improve her health, they gave it their best – and last – shot.

Lying on the exam table, waiting for the ultrasound that would tell her if the intervention was a success or a failure, she thought to herself “This is it. It’s these babies or no babies.” She had twins – a boy and a girl.

Callie wrote her infertility memoir as part of her healing journey, and to support others who are experiencing infertility. She encourages women to be their own advocate in the doctor’s office, to seek healing for the sake of their own wellbeing, and to find community so that they don’t have to go it alone.

Her book “The Baby Binder” was published in December of last year, two weeks after baby number three arrived all on his own.

Callie M., California

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