Samantha shares with us some of her personal experiences as a childless stepmother. Fifteen years ago, on May 26, 2001, Samantha became a Navy wife. Her marriage lasted for four years, two of which she attempted to have a baby. According to her, military wives often are focused on building a family. She was the woman who bought the books, kept track of her ovulations, and took her vitamins.
Two years after Samantha divorced and later met her current husband. He came with a “pre-started” family, including a four-year-old boy. They immediately began trying to add to that family before getting married, but that ended up in a miscarriage. After a year of being married, the couple went to see a fertility doctor. Samantha had just turned twenty-seven. She always read that after a year of trying for a baby and not succeeding, a visit to the doctor would be necessary. Her doctor was an older, seemingly seasoned gentleman, but after two visits, she ended up empty handed. Originally, Samantha was told that she might have issues with her fertility because of her thyroid and hormone issues. Unexpectedly, Samantha’s appendix had burst and there was a lot of internal scarring that had begun to form. This is what ultimately caused her inability to maintain a pregnancy.
Now at 34 years old, she is frustrated. She wants to carry a child, but simply cannot complete the process to term. She tells her stepchild that she loves him and was always meant to be his stepmother. However, she states that there are times where her husband leaves for the week, Samantha gets her period, and sees pregnancy announcements on social media. She does not want to go through treatment, she says; she cannot handle the horrific side effects of the medication.
“I can say I am blessed to have a child who loves me and does not act out towards me in any way. But being one of the only women in my group of friends without a child is really difficult. It is not a choice I am making and have no one in the same situation as me at all.“
Samantha has looked towards “stepmother groups” on social media pages for support. However, found this was not the support she needed. Not many people get to see the viewpoints of a childless stepmother. That is why Samantha decided to share her story.
Samantha V., TX