Infertility has taught me that heartache and joy can truly coexist. My husband and I began trying to start our family immediately after our wedding. I remember the hope. The irrepressible hope. Over time, that hope began to turn into despair. After some testing and more testing, we were labeled with unexplained infertility. Unexplained. That word was maddening.
Two years of active treatment, nine IUI’s, one miscarriage, one unsuccessful IVF, thousands of dollars and countless heartbreaks later, we felt broken. Yet, we weren’t ready to give up. At the time, New York had not yet passed the infertility mandate so our options were limited without having the insurance coverage. We were fortunate enough to try one more time. Our second IVF gave us our miracle baby boy. Our son, Callan, is almost five months old now.
This process has taught me a lot about patience, hope and gratitude. It’s allowed my heart to expand and see the heavenly moments in the midst of the hell. I had to forgive my body for its faults and recognize its strengths.
Most who struggle with infertility do so quietly. Those who do not, tread lightly around those who do as to not evoke any unwanted emotion. Sharing our story has been the scariest, most rewarding thing I’ve done. I was able to find the light where the darkness resides and can only hope that others are able to do the same. I want to change the conversation by showing how truly common the conversation is in the first place. You are not alone in this fight. While we may be “resolved” for now, our journey continues to unfold, and we are right here with you.