There are many things I wish I knew when I was in high school: the importance of birth control, how to feel comfortable talking to my mom about sex, but what I wish I knew the most was how much infertility affected people, and what it really was.
It wasn’t until I started doing my own research that I started to learn about infertility. The day my husband and I decided to start trying to build our family, we were so excited! I remember thinking to myself “Oh, just a few months and we’ll be planning how to tell our families!”
Well the months came and went. We took prenatals for couples, I tracked my ovulation, and we even had a calendar dedicated to our sex life! However, the months still came and went. Eventually we got to the point in our journey where we could see a specialist.
I started with my PCP. I explained to her what was going on, how my body was feeling, that my periods were nothing but irregular, and most importantly that I thought I was showing signs of endometriosis. I told her I’d talked to friends who were diagnosed with it and that I had quite a few of the symptoms. She recommended that I get an ultrasound and blood work and that she’d probably end up referring me to a specialist.
When the ultrasound imaging came back, everything was normal. I never heard from my doctor. I had to look up everything on my own through the online platform my office uses. My notes read, “Patient is concerned she has endometriosis because many friends have it.” I think that is the point where I became hopeless. My doctor wasn’t listening to me at all, and my heart had been shattered. The office never even contacted me about referral information.
I found my own fertility specialist and requested my records be sent to the fertility clinic. I had the consultation with the finance director and planned my first visit to the clinic. My husband and I attended our visit, learned more about the issues and possibilities surrounding infertility, and we hit a huge milestone: Step 1 was done!
Then came lots of blood work, numerous visits to the clinic, and the semen analysis. We were making progress! We learned my husband has excellent sperm and that weighed heavily on me, because even though we expected it, it was still heavy. I felt more depressed and like I was failing as a woman. I felt like I couldn’t do what my body was made to do, and it crushed me.
I will soon have my HSG test, and as you can probably tell, I’m pretty new to the TTC community. I’m more nervous than ever but I’m trying to be hopeful. I’ve made many friends through this community, and I am beyond grateful!
Wishing all the women struggling with infertility lots and lots of baby dust!