My name is Yasna, and here is #WhatIWantYouToKnow. I am a British-born, So-Cal girl that loves everything Indian and hip hop. I married my best friend at 24 years old and quickly succumbed to the lifestyle of being married, working 40+ hours a week, and fulfilling my daughter-in-law duties. My husband, Ketan, and I knew right away that we wanted to have children. Little did we know that God had other plans for us.

Sometimes parenthood isn’t always as easy as it seems. No one ever talks about the struggle of becoming a parent. Our vision of having a family of our own has been shattered with expensive fertility treatments, mental breakdowns, emotional stress, financial struggles, and many sacrifices. This whole journey has been an experience that we will never forget. We have endured a lot of heartache over the last ten years, but we have come out so much stronger.

We tried naturally for two years then turned to IUI treatments. We finally landed at IVF in 2013 at a clinic in Denver, Colorado. Being away for treatments for many weeks at a time affected my career, and I resigned from my position to focus full-time on trying to build our family.

After the Colorado treatments failed, we continued to multiple other doctors, going through cycle after cycle. Finally, in 2015 after eight IVF cycles and a doctor in LA, we got pregnant! Our dream was finally a reality. We were overjoyed! Unfortunately, our baby girl did not make it. We were fortunate enough to see and hear her. She was a part of us that we will never forget.

Here we are six years later in a tumultuous 2021, making sense of life and next steps in the middle of a global pandemic. We have been through a total of 12 IVF cycles, two IUI cycles, seven different doctors, one year out-of-state, four egg retrievals, three transfers, two pregnancies, and two miscarriages. On Mother’s Day in 2020, we were on the brink of celebrating differently and received news that our latest transfer had failed. I miscarried around the time we were figuring out sheltering at home.

Over the years, we’ve been full steam ahead and temporarily paused on trying to conceive for varying lengths of time. I am not the same person I was before we started this journey – physically, mentally, or emotionally. Trying to conceive has taken a massive toll on me, my husband, and our marriage. Since we started trying-to-conceive, we’ve celebrated a combined 18 mother’s/father’s days with both our loving parents and siblings, extended family, and friends. We are so grateful for our support system, but we ache to have these special occasions for ourselves too.

We continue to pray and aspire for our future rainbow baby. We know one day we will have our bundle of joy. It has been one bumpy ride, but we are ready for whatever comes our way. We will not give up our dream of becoming parents.

Yasna P.