My name is Krisily, I’m a 42 year old woman, and I am one in eight. If you don’t know what that means yet and you’re thinking, “wow, one in eight,” let me shed some light on what it is like.
You’re part of a group that I like to call “the women’s group no one wishes to be in.” You see, we are women who suffer from infertility. Imagine, out of all the women you know, one in eight suffer from infertility – and you may not even know.
Growing up, infertility never came up in any conversation I had. I grew up chasing dreams, whether it was becoming Miss RI USA, being on a hit reality show to find love or making the long move to Los Angeles to become a television host. With lots of work, I accomplished each one of those dreams. The only dream I hadn’t yet reached was finding a husband who was my partner in life and starting a family together.
Somehow in the summer of 2019, I met the man of my dreams and was his wife less than a year later. We talked about being parents instantly and soon had to start having tests to see why nothing was working. Soon, I found myself at an infertility clinic with an extremely low egg reserve and was told that time wasn’t on my side. Luckily, we had great insurance in a state where it was mandatory for insurance companies to cover some portion of treatments.
A year and a half later after spending well over $20,000, injecting hundreds if not thousands of shots, experiencing emotional rollercoasters, undergoing three failed rounds and one horrible miscarriage, we put everything on hold for a bit knowing we had our one Hail Mary left – a beautiful, frozen, day 5 embryo.
But that’s not even half of my journey, because there is so much more: the strain on my marriage and friendships; the absolute empty feeling I constantly had feeling that I was somehow less of a woman; and finally feeling ok to tell some people but being given the absolute worst advice because they had no information on infertility. I lost friends, but most importantly, I’d lost myself in so many ways. Somehow, I became brave and decided to share my story with the help of sites like Pregnantish (the first place I’d found where I no longer felt broken) and when I started sharing, I began to receive messages from strangers, friends, and family that rejuvenated me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Now at 42, I’m still on my journey in RI to try to have an addition in my marriage and pray and send love to my little frozen angel daily.
It’s not just important that women like me who are one in eight can get help no matter what their financial or insurance situation is, but we also need help navigating a life we never imagined. We need conversations, we need infertility talked about loudly, and we need our elected officials to help.
To all my one in eight sisters – while each of our stories are different, we all share something bigger. We are warriors, and even warriors need help sometimes.
Krisily F., CT
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