Infertility does not discriminate. It does not matter if you are super healthy, have had previous children, your ethnic background – it can affect anyone. And we should all be able to have our voices heard.
No infertility story is the exact same.
No one’s pain is the same.
No one’s sadness is invalid.
Everyone should have a chance to validate their feelings. No matter who they are!
Secondary infertility – the journey no one talks about.
I, the mother of two beautiful boys, had no issues with trying to conceive my first two children. I had never heard of secondary infertility prior. Two great conceivings – one natural birth and one c-section. Never would I have imagined I would be on this journey. This is why when you hear infertility does not discriminate, it is true.
My husband and I had our first son in January of 2015. We quickly got pregnant again and had our second son in August of 2016. In 2019, we decided to give it another go as we just felt our family was not complete. This was my very first chemical pregnancy, and it’s where our journey began. It was a very dark time for me and so very hard to hold it all together for my children. I did not want them to feel as though they were not enough.
We talked to my doctor and started medicine, which failed. We then turned to a fertility clinic and completed four IUIs with no success. Here, three years later, we still are holding on to hope. We will begin our journey with IVF very soon. We keep hope that the hole we have will be filled; seeing those two pink lines is everything we have prayed for over the last three years.
The thing about infertility is, it’s like grieving something you never actually had. Every month we grieve just seeing one pink line. You work so hard all month to feel again as if you failed and are broken. It’s okay to be upset and to feel pain, even if you have a child already. Your feelings are not any less valid. My heart knows I am not ready to give up on more children, but my body had a different road for me. Maybe it happened to me so I could share my story with others who are struggling with secondary infertility. It is a real thing and it should be talked about more!
Know that you are allowed to talk about your infertility. You are allowed to be upset when you see someone announce that they are expecting. You are allowed to feel sadness that you cannot conceive, even while struggling with the children you do have. It does not make you less of a good mother to want another. It does not mean you are not grateful and blessed to have been able to have a child of your own.
You know your feelings.
These personal stories have been vetted by RESOLVE to ensure that specific products or service providers are not mentioned. RESOLVE does not edit any details provided by the author in regards to their personal choices or belief.