One paper cut will not hurt you, but a hundred will cause pain. On our fertility journey, we have heard many empty platitudes and unsolicited advice such as “you should just relax,” “you should be happy you don’t have to deal with kids,” “it’ll happen when it’s time,” “maybe you aren’t meant to have kids,” and “you should just adopt.” One of these statements is easy to deflect and release, but when you hear them constantly without interruption, they begin to hurt. We avoid social situations and isolate to protect ourselves from the pain.

I hear that you are afraid. I hear that you do not know what to say. I hear that you feel uncomfortable with our pain. I hear that you want to solve our fertility issue, but remember that this is our journey and not yours. We are carrying the burden of our own experience each day, so we are not able to take on your emotions – nor do we want to.

Each emotion serves a purpose, and we would not want to take that experience away from you. Emotions lead to movement and momentum. They keep us from getting stuck in one place for too long. We use our emotions to fuel our fertility journey each day, so why can’t you?

Jessica S., VA

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