What you don’t see is what I had to go through to have the three beautiful children you see with me. I’ve gotten the off-handed “you’ve certainly been busy…” comment, with a knowing wink and smile more times than I can count when I am out with my three under six.
The real story is that it took two infertility clinics, two adoption agencies, one home study, one birth family, five failed IUIs, four fresh IVF cycles, two early miscarriages, one surgery and three frozen embryo transfers to get where we are today.
My beautiful oldest boy who you say looks so much like me? We don’t share DNA but we do share the love of a mother and son. The loss of his birth family made me a mother, and I am forever indebted to his birth parents for that gift. As he grows and asks about them, I do my best to answer and honor them and their sacrifice.
Before long we wanted to add to our family & decided to try a fresh cycle with our new clinic. It was our “worst” cycle based on the number of eggs retrieved. Five fertilized & four made it to Day 5. We transferred two and froze the other two. To our shock and amazement, one of our two transferred “embabies” took and before we knew it, we had an eighteen-month-old and a newborn. These days, our rambunctious boys are often mistaken for twins.
Even in my glory as a mom of two, I still felt like someone was missing. We had two embryos left and decided to see where they could lead. One didn’t take but the last one did. Our daughter completed our family.
The days are truly long (at times) but the years are also truly very short. It boggles my mind that I have the family for which I so longed. They are getting so big so fast.
When you see us, please don’t assume it was easy. The scars from infertility remain deep on my heart. Even my hardest days as a mother are easier than my days longing to be one.
Heidi G. – MA